There is one thing that girls don’t remember often enough, and that is: you can say no. Seriously though; you can say no to pretty much everything you damn want. And I am not talking about saying “No, I am not going to wear this wool sweater even if it’s 10 degrees outside because it’s nearly June and I don’t care anymore”. I am talking about the awkward ones: when someone asks you out, asks you if he/she can buy you a drink, or simply touches your butt in the middle of a crowded club with no regrets. In that moment of confusion, slight fear and possibly disgust for someone who has the nerve to touch your butt in a crowd over 20, you might need to know how to say no. To a date, to a butt grab, to a drink you did not ask for.
The Awkward No’s
Film-like scenario: you are sitting at a bar, your friend just left you alone for five minutes to go to the toilet and you are pretending to check Instagram. A guy interrupts your feed-scrolling to offer you a drink the flirty way. You already have a drink and do not want to lead him on; also, there was this giveaway on Asos’ Instagram profile that you were checking out at that very moment. What do you do?
Bitches Be Like “Why Don’t You Like Me?”
It happens: you like someone, and this someone is taken, or she/he doesn’t like you back. I have a hard time imagining myself pestering someone who made quite obvious he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings by asking over and over: “But why? Why don’t you want to go out with me? Why not?”. Nevertheless, there are some champions out there who believe that asking about the reasons non-stop might get them a chance. Guess what? It doesn’t.
You Don’t Need To ‘Have A Boyfriend’
This one drives me crazy. How many times have you managed to sneak out of an unwanted courtship using the famous and often untrue ‘I have a boyfriend’ card? Sure, it’s an easy way out, but it’s also an unnecessary one. The annoying admirer should let it be not because you are another man’s territory, but because you are your own. I know it’s hard after all these years pretending to have a boyfriend in prison on the phone (don’t lie), but if the real answer is “Because I don’t like you”, go on and say it.
A Butt Grab Is Not A Handshake
Or a boob grab, or any grab really. Needless to say, the only way to have a real conversation is to be on the same level. If some stranger tries to caress your behind unannounced, he/she is probably not much of a charmer. I don’t say punch him/her in the stomach, even if it works, and I got proof. But I am pretty sure the law of retaliation allows you to squeeze him/her nipple.